When I was very young, I loathed when adults asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Regardless of my age I always firmly believed I was QUITE grown-up, so I gave them a ridiculous answer and replied, “I’d like to be a set of Tinker Toys, or perhaps a trophy wife.”
And let me tell you, at 8 years old, those sort of answers always killed them! The truth was I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to do something, be something. Now, almost 14 years later, I still shy away from this question. I have held an internship at a nationally syndicated talk show. I have traveled abroad. I have driven cross-country. I have a college degree. What I don’t have is direction.
In the great big bathtub of life, I am a toy boat with no rudder.
How profound.
Some of you who can proudly call yourselves part of the class of 2001 feel the same way. Some others who are not graduating might not have any clue what I am talking about. Try this experiment. Ask any of your graduated friends what they are doing next year. Many will answer, “I am moving to __________ (fill in the blank with Chicago, New York or Los Angeles).” Ask them what they will be doing there and they just may say, in a questioning tone, “Getting a job?”
Naturally, while they know they have to get a job to support themselves and perhaps their bar habit, few know exactly where they will pick up their next paycheck. Even those of us who are continuing our education at __________ (again, fill in the blank with law, medical or graduate school), may only be attending to postpone the inevitable - we are going to have to grow up.
Why do we act this way? We are the select few who - with help from loans, jobs and nice parents - managed to finance our education and graduate from MSU. We should be off to a rip-roaring start and cutting each other’s throats to join the real world.
For mercenary reasons, self-promotion or the idea of proving ourselves, we should be ready to helm the wheels as captains of our respective industries. We should be ready to sail the seas of commerce. Our higher education sets us apart from a large percentage of the population. We have had classroom activities and life-changing experiences to prepare us for crossing this sort of threshold. But rather than use the mental tools we have acquired, we are running scared.
Call it fear, call it laziness, call it the Peter Pan syndrome. We are afraid to grow up. Once upon a time, I was in quite a hurry to be considered older. I was outraged that my braces gave away the fact I was 13, and thus not admitted to R-rated movies. I began the countdown until my 16th birthday a year before the date, salivating at the thought of scoring some wheels and cruising my way down West Bloomfield’s Orchard Lake Road, to freedom.
I spent most of my adolescent years fighting my parents and begging for the chance to show them I was an adult. I used many big words during arguments to show how “adult” my vocabulary had grown; I began to read explicit works of literature to convince the world my intellect existed on an “adult” level and lectured anyone who would listen about current events to show I grasped “adult” concepts. I thought I had won.
But now, as the time to hold myself to an adult standard has come, I would much rather play hide-and-go-seek.
Perhaps I am not as mature as I thought I was. I guess this should be apparent to anyone who knows me as I enjoy watching cartoons, playing mud football in the rain and throwing the occasional temper tantrum.
I also have the bad habit of looking at life from day to day, rather than at the big picture. In my opinion, nothing is permanent and many of the bad things in life can be made all better with a hug. And I must be fed every four hours. Yet, I am not sure if this is a bad thing.
Despite my anxiety, I know my apprehension to become a full-fledged adult may actually help me in the real world. My affinity for cartoons just may keep my creative juices flowing. My love for mud football could keep me in shape, while many of my peers go soft and turn to fat.
And temper tantrums? Hey! I can imagine that my no-nonsense attitude will allow me to advance quickly in my field.
The fact that I am fun-loving will help me as well. Any employer would love to hire someone who is competent, talented and doesn’t take themselves too seriously. I would never want to be an adult who doesn’t enjoy such simplistic things about life. Along with my inner child, I will excel at whatever I do!
For all of you graduates out there who are in the same situation: Take this summer to relax, enjoy yourself, buy some floaties and jump in a pool. We can always figure out what we want to be if we grow up another day.
Besides, worst-case scenario? I bet there are a lot of want ads for a set of Tinker Toys.
Tracy Weiss, a 2001 MSU graduate, can be found finger-painting, blowing bubbles and playing in a lawn sprinkler. Those who are also against growing up can contact her at weisstra@pilot.msu.edu.
