Saturday, December 4, 2021

Marriage is not just about children

I would hate to be John La Fleur’s wife.

I can picture La Fleur coming home after a busy day. He hangs up his coat at the door and drops his briefcase in the living room. He walks up to me - I’m obviously in the kitchen cooking dinner for all our children and pregnant, because that’s the point of marriage - pecks me on the cheek and says “Honey, let’s go upstairs and provide some structure for our children.”

The last time I checked, marriage was never exclusively about raising and providing for children. When my parents were married, children were certainly on their mind, but last I checked their 40-plus-year marriage started because of the love and commitment they had for each other.

When two friends of mine were united - lesbians, in case that matters - they did so out of love and commitment. When two more friends, straight ones this time, were united, I asked them about children. “Oh, we haven’t even thought that far ahead,” the new husband said. They were united out of their love and commitment for each other.

Marriage is not solely about establishing order for children. It is about two people’s love, commitment and devotion for each other. It’s true society benefits when parents provide for their own children. What’s not true is that the child will benefit only if the parents are of different genders.

Has the debate over same-sex marriage really hit an all-time low that someone feels the need to compare same-sex couples to incestuous ones? In the latter, the two people could do irreparable genetic harm to their potential children. With the former, all I can say is some of the most well-adjusted children I’ve ever met have had two moms or dads.

Does La Fleur really believe same-sex couples are founded only on the basis of sex? The many same-sex couples I know are some of the most devoted and caring couples on the planet. Their partnership is rarely just about sex.

Oh, and La Fleur, my father was never emotionally distant or abusive. We didn’t have the best relationship, but I am gay because it is who I am. Should society base its arguments against same-sex marriages because of outdated homophobic dogma and falacy-ridden arguments? I certainly hope not.

David S. Warden
journalism junior


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