At the end of this column is a short byline explaining that, if you want to write to me, you can do so at email@example.com.
Ive been writing this for a year, and in the process Ive received close to 200 letters. Most of them are pleasant notes complimenting me on my work, some of them are well-thought-out explanations of why Im wrong, and two informed me Im the father of children in the East Lansing area.
But there are some that are so interesting, so provocative and so poetic I thought I would share them with you.
Boy, youre ugly. I mean it, I put your column up and your picture scared my fish and now they just hide inside their little plastic castle. What are you, some kind of toady reptile thing? - Andrew
Andrew - I know theyre scary, but I promise that these changes are perfectly normal. This period of growth and development is something to celebrate - youre becoming a man!
The bar scene isnt working for me. Every time I try to talk to a girl, she cant hear me, and I go home alone. How can I be more successful?
Brett - As most bar-goers know, conversation is impossible at most bars. The trick to picking up members of the opposite sex is to dress exactly like everyone else there. By about one in the morning, people are so confused they will go home with someone who even vaguely resembles their date. If youre in the right place at the right time, youll make a new friend. I suggest gel, a leather jacket and some khakis.
Im thinking of applying to medical school. What could you tell me so Im not surprised when I get there? - Steven
Be prepared to see your professors naked. As a consequence of my membership in a popular local athletic club, Ive managed to be in the locker room at the same time as no less than seven of my teachers. Ive started to keep a chart. So far, theyre all men, but I think a quick leg-shaving and a wig will even the score.
I dont normally forward these things, but this sounds so sad