You know, I have a lot of tolerance for the cartoon page of our beloved State News. I even still mourn the loss of “Serious World” and “Fetus-X.” However, I have had enough. Captain Spirit is by far the lamest “mediocre-hero” to grace the printed illustration.

Week in and week out he is bested by everyone and last week he lost his girl to Mr. U-M Man. Not to mention the fool fell asleep while supposedly guarding our Sparty statue. If Captain Spirit is merely an embodiment of the football team then so be it. But if he is supposed to stand for us, the spirited students of this fine university, then consider your days numbered, Captain Spirit, because your days of bogus action are over. Mu-ha, mu-hahahahahaha.

Matthew Vogel
astrophysics senior