Thanksgiving is only days away and Christmas is a month after that. The holidays are upon us, and it’s time to spread the holiday cheer with good food and a lot of family time.
When I was a kid, that was all holidays really were to me. They were occasions for stuffing my face with pie and turkey and spending time with family members that I might not have been able to see as often as I liked. They brought extended families, from aunts to second and third cousins, together for an evening of good food and socializing — complete with awkward “Oh, you’ve grown so much since I’ve seen you!” conversations.
But the holidays haven’t been the same for the past two years since my parents separated.
Since then, every holiday besides Christmas was split between the two of them — if I stayed with my mom for Thanksgiving, I went to my dad’s family for Easter. But now that I’m (technically) an adult, the decision of where I spend my holiday time is entirely on my own shoulders.
And sometimes that decision can end with feelings being hurt, which creates pressure to make a choice that doesn’t end up hurting anyone’s feelings.
One of the first “silver linings” my sister noted when our parents ended up separated was that we now would get double the presents and double the food for the holidays. But that wasn’t exactly how things turned out — other than Christmas, holidays were still spent with only one side of the family for the most part.
But when holidays have to be split between two families, people need to do what’s most comfortable for them. The day is already hectic and stressful enough, so that time should be spent with people who don’t pile extra stress onto the day.
If you’d rather spend that holiday with the sister you don’t get to see as often as the rest of your family, the parent who has been out of the state for a few months, or the grandparent who cooks the best food, spend your holiday with that person.
Makeshift holidays are also an option — you can still celebrate with whomever you didn’t get to see for the actual holiday on another weekend. There’s always time — and leftovers — for Thanksgiving part two.
It’s impossible to please everyone, so make sure that whatever choice you make, make yourself happy.
Casey Holland is the opinion editor at The State News. Reach her at cholland@statenews.com.
