Friday, March 29, 2024

Get rid of warning labels, fear

September 11, 2011

Gunn

I just returned from having a colonoscopy. Immediately, you say, “Yuck! Gross! Why would anyone want to know that about somebody? Especially a person who writes off the wall opinion pieces. Couldn’t you have just told us that you had a McDouble with large fries and a small Coke? Or maybe that you had your toenails clipped? Why give us some intimate detail that makes everyone cringe?”

Well, for the teen and 20-something, this particular procedure means absolutely nothing, even though it should, preventative medicine and the like. For the oldsters, it is definitely an activity that could mean life or death. We remember Katie Couric and her plea to go through with it just to be sure that you can, please excuse me, nip it (cancer) in the bud. So I had the procedure, passed with flying colors, and thought that I would write an opinion piece.

Again you say, “Yuck! Gross! I don’t want to hear!” Well, the opinion has nothing to do with the gory details or any such matters. What really got me about the whole procedure were the warning labels that came with the activity, of which I was completely unconscious and proceeded through quite pleasantly. So, what warning labels did I encounter, and what have they got to do with anything?

I was given the usual litany that goes with any procedure for which you are anesthetized. Reactions could include everything from mild irritation at the intravenous site to the possibility of unforeseen allergic reactions that could put you into a coma. Then, with a colonoscopy, one must be aware of colon walls being punctured, indiscriminate bleeding and maybe being rushed to another operating room for surgery to repair the damage. Aren’t those wonderful things to think about when contemplating a procedure that could in the long run save your life if a condition you might have is found well before it becomes dangerous? I would think so, but it is all the warnings that drive you absolutely crazy.

If you think about it, there are warning labels on everything. The best ones to watch are the ones presented with commercials on television hawking products from aspirin to Viagra. “If you take this particular pill for a slight headache, the side effects include possible heart attack, sterility, brain damage, tooth decay, liver and kidney damage, and yes death!” or “If you have a, well you know, for more than four hours, call your physician immediately or get to the emergency room stat!” or “In a significant number of cases, patients are known to have experienced kidney damage and loss of motor skills, including the ability to think, carry on conversations and live a productive life!”
After listening to all these dire warnings, it is obvious why I felt a little uncomfortable with my relatively innocuous procedure.
And I wasn’t alone. I listened to other individuals who actually were crying as the nurse explained how quickly and easily everything would proceed. So the question is, “Why the hell do we need to frighten everyone almost to the brink of death with all these warnings and forebodings?” I thought about it for a second (and no more than that), and I arrived at a number – 1-800 you know who.

Every morning on television we are subjected to at least one member of that 1-800 legal family explaining how you can get money (and they can get hefty fees) because of dog bites and your reckless driving and on and on from this defendant or another. I realized the legal profession for many of its members has become what we always joked about — “ambulance chasers.” The profession, with far too many lawyers in place, rush around trying to find places where individuals and companies can be blamed for not providing enough warnings about a myriad of activities. If a warning is missed, a lawsuit almost is immediate. “You didn’t warn me that stabbing myself repeatedly with a steak knife could hurt!” Call 1-800-(insert lawyer of choice). “You didn’t warn me that running in flip-flops across a busy intersection against the light in the rain might cause me to fall and bruise my knee!” Call 1-800-(insert lawyer of choice).

Now, whether the steak knife stabbing or the flip-flop falling would ever make it to court, that is not the issue. The issue it that we have become a society completely focused on suing every entity from the hospital to the guy who delivers your mail. I have heard even pre-school teachers remark about their students who when told to obey the rules respond with, “You can talk to my lawyer!” or “I’m going to sue you!”

No wonder we have so many warnings. They really don’t have any logical basis other than the fear that if all the outrageous bases aren’t covered, a lawsuit is sure to follow.

Wouldn’t it be nice to take the real fear out of our lives and remove all those 1-800 numbers?

Craig Gunn is a State News guest columnist. Reach him at gunn@egr.msu.edu.

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