The List — Best & Worst College Nicknames

In middle school, I used to pride myself on the fact that I knew every Division I football team’s nickname. It was one of my greatest accomplishments, up there with graduating from elementary school and perfecting cursive in fourth grade.

A few of my friends and I would wander the school halls, trying to best one another by rattling off schools and hoping others wouldn’t know the accompanying nickname.

While I’m still pretty up-to-date on football teams, my knowledge of the 300-plus Division I basketball teams is not as acute.

This was discussed today after the Western Illinois nickname, the Leathernecks, was semi-randomly brought up in the newsroom today. It brought me back to those middle school days, when it was actually cool to know university nicknames.

So for today’s list, it’s a two-for-one deal. The best college nicknames (Spartans not included) along with the dumbest.

Best nicknames:

1. Canoneers (Pratt Institute) — Instead of going traditional with its military nickname, the Brooklyn, N.Y., school (formerly home to one Pam Beesly) mixed a classy sounding name with a strong soldier.

2. Delta Devils (Mississippi Valley State University) — Putting location and fear together into one nickname is always a winning combination, especially in the Valley.

3. Green Terror (McDaniel College) — Apparently green strikes fear in teams (there’s also the Green Wave and Mean Green), but this small Maryland school beats out its competition.

4. Lasers (Lasell College) — This Massachusetts college already had brownie points for alliteration, but then it added to its street cred (is there street cred in Newton, Mass.?) with Lasers.

5. Soaring Eagles (Elmira College) — Which came first? The Elmira College nickname or Mount Pleasant casino? This is bigger than the chicken or the egg.

Worst nicknames:

1. Banana Slugs (University of California-Santa Cruz) — Pairing a fruit with a slimy mollusk rarely works well in the nickname business.

2. Bearkats (Sam Houston State University) — Nothing says “higher education” more than using an incorrect spelling of an animal, even if the name was originally meant to be more mythological than real.

3. Dirtbags (Long Beach State University) — When somebody asks you about your school, you can proudly say, “I’m a Spartan.” I’m guessing Long Beach State alumni mumble through that one themselves.

4. Jackrabbits (South Dakota State University) — I’m debating which is worse: Being the Rabbits or being the Jackrabbits. I’ll go with the latter.

5. Prairie Fire (Knox College) — If you’re going to be named after a weather occurrence, at least go big with Tornadoes or Green Wave or Hurricanes. Not something that mostly threatens jackrabbits. (Although, apparently a prairie fire is a mixed drink containing an alcoholic beverage and Tabasco sauce. That’s what I call a great first impression.)

• Sat 21st
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• Sun 22nd
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• Mon 23rd
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• Tue 24th
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Sean Cook / The State News

Gov. Jennifer Granholm speaks to a crowd about the Michigan Promise Scholarship during a rally Wednesday morning outside the Administration Building. Granholm is touring colleges in Michigan to discuss the scholarship.

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