Man About Town
Recent posts
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Cedar Fest leaves black mark on community
I’ve never been ashamed to call myself a Spartan until this week.
Cedar Fest, a revival of a semiannual party that occurred in the ’70s and ’80s, was an embarrassment to our campus and the East Lansing community.
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Looming pick-up artists make bar nights uncomfortable
Don’t hit on my girlfriends.
And please, don’t use a cheesy pickup line like, “I’m doing a survey and wanted to ask you a few questions.
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Cougars on the prowl in E.L.
Beware. There are predators lurking throughout East Lansing.
Looming pick-up artists make bar nights uncomfortable
Don’t hit on my girlfriends.
And please, don’t use a cheesy pickup line like, “I’m doing a survey and wanted to ask you a few questions.”
Desperate men are a problem in East Lansing. They stand brooding in bars, waiting for some poor woman to accidentally make eye contact with them. That’s when they strike, leaving a trail of bad cologne in their wake.
I’ve seen this happen to my friends and other people in almost every bar I frequent. It’s awkward when someone – who is either past their prime or lacks any social skill – comes over to a table, sets down a drink and thinks it’s OK to begin going from girl to girl, seeing if anyone will take their bait.
Guess what? It’s rude to burst into a conversation of strangers, especially when they are clearly not looking to hook up. No one wants to hear your story and no one wants to deal with you. Unless invited or engaged in some other fashion, stick to your dark corner.
Much like the stray cats East Lansing tried to regulate a while back, desperate men need to be handled in some manner. Perhaps the East Lansing City Council can pass an ordinance that allows these men to be captured and released back into wherever place it is they came from.
Until there’s a day when my girlfriends and I can have a few cocktails in peace, we will continue to shoot disapproving looks to hopeful desperate men everywhere. And beware, if you do happen to sit at our table, it’s not going to end well for you. We won’t take your drinks or shots – we’ll simply return the favor that you’ve bestowed on so many bar patrons throughout the years making sure your night is awkward and very uncomfortable.
Comments
BOOYAH
04/04/08 @ 8:22pm
“...especially when they are clearly not looking to hook up.”
This reminds me of those girls who proudly display their cleavage, but then shoot you the look of death when they catch you having a glance. Perhaps the above statement should be revised to “clearly not looking to hook up with YOU.” ;)
Chris
04/05/08 @ 1:54am
Great article. Very enjoyable, interesting read.
Makes me recall Dave Chappelle talking about how chivalry is dead, and women killed it.
A Little Harsh
04/08/08 @ 6:19am
This is just rude. There is so much wrong with this article.
Why do you assume they want to hook up with you? Maybe they just want to enjoy the night and talk and be personable.
Plus, do you know how hard it is for guys to walk up to a random group and start a cold conversation? Grow up. Get over yourself. People are so mean spirited sometimes.
Thank you!
04/08/08 @ 8:19am
This article is so true. So many times I have wondered how these socially-stunted guys think that by rudely interruptly my conversations with my girlfriends I’m going to wanna jump in their pants? Please…. What makes you think I even want to talk to you?
Oh and PS: girls are NOT dressing for guys. Girls dress for other girls bc guys dont know the first thing about fashion, especially your average EL straight guy….
Dave
04/08/08 @ 8:27am
Jeez, try to be a little more spiteful. I highly doubt that every guy who talks to you wants to hook up. It sounds like the author needs to get over herself and I would bet that she’s not nearly as hot or smart as she apparently thinks she is.
Ivy
04/08/08 @ 8:37am
Something tells me you and your friends aren’t even attractive. And just because someone sparks conversation doesn’t mean they want to have sex with you.
James
04/08/08 @ 8:57am
When people go to the bar, they go to interact with more than just the people they come out to the bar with. It’s probably a reasonable assumption of bar patrons to assume that other people at the bar might also be out to interact. If you and your friends don’t want anyone looking at you or talking to you, stay inside your apartment and drink with the blinds closed. Otherwise, don’t assume everyone is a pickup artist because he tries to make conversation with someone outside of his ordinary group of friends.
Wait...What?!
04/08/08 @ 9:11am
So what you’re saying is that guys at bars try to pick up women? And to make it worse, the not-so-smooth ones try, too?
The horror! The carnage! The waste of space this little vignette takes up on the internet!
Bill Lumberg
04/08/08 @ 9:26am
Hey Kris, why don’t you just wear a sign around your neck that says “I’m a bitch stay away”. That way people know right from the get go you are an antisocial, better then you, ball-breaker.
Thank you!
04/08/08 @ 10:28am
Maybe this is a hard concept for most guys to understand, not every girl who goes to the bar wants to be picked up or even wants to start a conversation with a random. My girlfriends and I all have boyfriends and our girls night we want to go out, get some yummy drinks and catch up. If we’re sitting at table, not looking around and scoping the room for some interesting guy, obviously we are going to get upset and annoyed that some douchebag just grabs a seat at our table and starts harassing us. Those are the guys who are annoying and should go prey on some other group of girls who may want to talk to you. Bc many times even after explaining to these losers we dont want to talk to you so go away, they wont.
Poon Tang
04/08/08 @ 10:34am
Thank you—so the girls who go to the bars in short skirts that barely clear their labia with their tits hanging out are doing it for other girls? Wow, you could have fooled me.
Thank you!
04/08/08 @ 11:07am
Well I cant say I speak for THOSE girls who choose to dress scandalously. When I go out, my tits are not on display so thats why its frustrating to be treated by guys like the girls who DO have them on display. Like I said, when Im clearly having a good time with my friends and not dressing or acting in a way to attract any attention just leave us alone. And if you do approach me just prepared to hear what I have to say about it.
MSU guy
04/08/08 @ 11:13am
i agree, this article was written by some ugly bitch who probably has never been laid (except for the time she got passed-out at a frat party and gang-banged on “hog night”).
Yawn
04/08/08 @ 12:15pm
I bet making love to Kris Turner is comparable to watching The English Patient.
Seriously
04/08/08 @ 12:36pm
Jeez, Kris. Get some new material.
seriously...
04/08/08 @ 1:12pm
Please explain exactly what this article was supposed to add to any meaningful discussion of any kind. There are shady and awkward people at bars…What a revelation! The bar is a public place meant almost exclusively for social interaction so you may actually have to anticipate other people being there. Its just another part of being at a bar. There isn’t going to be any division of Homeland Security that goes around solving the douche bag problem so if you want to completely avoid it, stay home. Or just write pointless articles to the State News and hope the bar will empty next time you and your friends go out.
EL Bars Suck Anyway
04/08/08 @ 1:37pm
OK everyone, calm down. Let’s be honest here, the MSU bars are elementary at best. Even the bars in Ann Arbor, the shitstick of Michigan, are better than what we have represented on Grand River and its perpendicular streets.
The Riv- Small dance floor, terrible music, Burgerama? Really, Burgerama? What is the point in waiting outside for an hour just to get into this lackluster bar? So I can pay 1.50 or whatever for a pitcher? My time is worth more than that. I’d rather pay full price somewhere else and have a great time than wait across the street from CVS for a forgettable experience.
Rick’s- Come on now. By the exclusiveness this bar tries to represent by having a line wrapping around the block on a Tuesday night is ridiculous. Way too many douche bag guys with their almost matching, striped, button down shirts and bottles of cheap cologne + bitchy girls acting like they are better than everyone else and too good for every guy there dressing like sluts but offended when looked at = Rick’s. Also, charging cover to get in? Where do the owners of Rick’s get the gall to charge cover for this dump? No thanks.
Landshark- Where do I even begin? Just like everything else the Greeks represent, this bar wants to be exclusive only to a certain group. That’s fine by me because this bar represents what the entire Greek community is, a joke. Does Landshark have half off nights for wearing leggings, Uggs, a weird shirt long shirt from American Apparel and “The Hills” sunglasses at night?
Peanut Barrell- Too small, too hippy, too many lame rules about sitting at the outdoor patio.
I could keep going, but I think my point has been made. If you want a real bar experience, check out Rush Street or Lincoln Park in Chicago, almost any bar in New York City, or the Adams Morgan neighborhood in Washington D.C.
liana
04/08/08 @ 2:00pm
This article reeks of nastyness and mean-spiritedness. When guys try to converse with me, it doesn’t offend me. There may be an occasion when the guy was a loudmouth, but that comes with the territory – we are in a student bar for heavens sake! There will be some drunken loudmouths here – men AND women.
AZ
04/08/08 @ 2:45pm
Yes, there are some guys who skalk around EL bars to pick up girls. But these guys are nothing in comparison to the ones you’ll find in other cities, especially Pontiac. Those guys are way more overbearing and have no concept of personal space.
Sex Indeterminate
04/08/08 @ 2:57pm
Hey girls, just read “The Game” by Neil Strauss. THEN you will understand.
Poon Tang
04/08/08 @ 3:21pm
I personally think those guys are pretty entertaining just as long as they don’t stick around for TOO long. Kris, dear, you sound uptight and quite possibly a little full of yourself.
Mr. Pants
04/08/08 @ 4:06pm
Kris Turner is a man—hence the blog title “Man About Town.” Kris Turner is a gay man—hence the reference to his “girlfriends.”
common sense
04/08/08 @ 5:20pm
MEN IN EAST LANSING GO TO BARS TO TRY TO MEET WOMEN!!
and other insightful journalism from the State News. I’m not even one of those noecon fruits, and I think the foreskin on my dick has more brain cells than this staff.
Are you fat?
04/08/08 @ 6:40pm
At least you used good gram while writing this article, because that is the only thing it has gooing for it. If you dont want to be hit on by a random guy, dont go to the bar. I think that ELPD should escort fat girls out of the city, and that would prolly include the author of this crap!
Stab Master Arson
04/08/08 @ 7:02pm
I think Kris is completely correct with the views expressed about men hitting on women in bars. Guys, listen, trying to talk to girls just isnt working anymore. This isnt 1987. Yeah their breasts are hanging out of their tank tops, their hooker boots are polished so you can see your own popped collar in them, and the condoms in their purse are only there to put over their Sidekicks in case it rains, but that doesnt mean they want you to look at and/or talk to them! They are wholesome christians who just want to be left alone at their table at the Dollar to study the bible and sip on their shirley temples. They are waiting for marriage before they engage in social conversations with members of the opposite sex and I find that admirable. Sure, I know there are about six or seven people in East Lansing who still live in the stone age and go out to the bars to meet other people and, heaven forbid, find someone of interest. Whoever said that it takes two people to “hook up” is dead wrong. It’s common knowledge that men brainwash women with promises of marriage upon meeting them and send subliminal messages of dirty sex and vulgar acts. One thing to keep in mind men is this: Just because she is really, really trying to show off her goods and may seem like she wants to meet you… it doesnt mean she really, really, really means it. Words to live by my friends. See you in church.
bbwhine
04/10/08 @ 4:26pm
Guys: All you have to do to attract a sleeze like Ms. Kris is let he know you’re planning to own a BMW, large home with pool, six figure salary and she can lounge all day and leave the housework and cooking for some “domestic” help. You won’t even need actually talk to her, she’ll beat you to the floor. On the other hand, there are tons of really worthwhile women who are smart, interesting, have great senses of humor and don’t view themselves as some sort of slum goddess like Miss Kris. God help the poor schlub who ends up with someone like Miss Kris parked in their life. Yike!!!!
Nick
05/25/08 @ 9:52pm
Kris is a boy.
http://shfwire.com/students/kristopher-turner
These women responding are not worth it as if they had any social skills, they would respond with respect and grace. Obviously, they have big heads thinking that only Brad Pitt should want to talk with them.
Do not worry, they will be back in a few years, 30obs heavier with three kids and quite bitter even if they have the ex’s car, house, and money; however, more likely with a few bruises from the beatings he will give them for being such wenches. Oh, yeah, that will be your fault also.