My first Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert

I didn’t want to go.

For my stepmom’s birthday, my dad scooped up some tickets via Craigslist to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert in December at The Palace of Auburn Hills. To my dismay, he had four tickets, meaning I’d have to tag along with my little sister and my parents.

Now, previously, I thought Trans-Siberian Orchestra was some music geek’s crush — a mesh of classical and rock music in the form of … Christmas songs? Really? A whole band devoted to Christmas songs? I thought it was bogus.

But after a snowy two-hour drive, I sat in our third-row floor (center, even) seats and I saw was wrong. The concert was actually good — great even. There were no Christmas trees or Santa appearances. But there was a whole lot of fire, a whole lot of guitar solos and a whole lot of middle-aged people rocking out.

To the guy behind me with the bad teeth: Way to howl, man. I’m sure you were even more hardcore in your prime — which was probably a good 15 years ago. That’s the thing about TSO fans — they’re like Jonas Brothers fans. They live, eat and breathe TSO year-round. Who cares if it’s not Christmas? Good thing there’s studio albums and compilation albums and videos and boxed sets and non-released tracks to listen to even in July.

I observed a few things that are apparently required to be a member of TSO. If you’re a guy, you have to have long, frizzy hair. Think Bret Michaels in the 1980s. If you’re a girl, you have to be ridiculously good-looking. Think MAXIM models. Oh, and you have to have God-like musical skills.

The perfect example of the hotness and sweet skills is Anna Phoebe — the London-based string director of TSO. Phoebe is prettier than most Playboy centerfolds and has more talent than most full orchestras. Phoebe may even be my second girl crush — after Jenny G, of course.

Sure, parts of the concert were kitsch. Really kitsch. (Do I need to listen to an hour-long narrated Christmas story across the world? Answer: No — Just play your music.) But for a group of old rockers, sprinkled with a few gorgeous ladies, I had way more fun than I expected to have.

Thanks, Dad. Next time I’ll make sure to bring you to an MGMT show.