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Monday, October 20, 2014 | Last updated: 12:02am


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Rules of Engagement

Future bride concedes wedding rights to mother


By Kellie Rowe          Posted: 07/02/12 8:45pm         

Almost every young person between the ages of sixteen and thirty has thought of their wedding at least once. Whether it’s that they’re dying to get married or never plan to walk down that aisle, the thought has at least crossed their mind.

The reason I call this commitment to attention is because my brother recently returned from his honeymoon. And after jealously scrolling trough his new wife’s 400 pictures of everything — really, everything — they saw on their trip to the Bahamas, liking about 150 of them in what my awesome self believed to be payback, I got to thinking: Just how many of us have put real thought into our weddings?

Now from my experiences I’ve met girls who are counting down to that big day. I know a girl who has had each and every tiny minute detail planned right down to the type of ribbon holding her bouquet together. But I sometimes feel that with such set plans and high expectations, there are a lot of room for disappointments.

When something goes wrong in the planning process, brides with perfect images of their dream weddings might not be satisfied with easy solutions. This leaves little room for others to take part in the planning, such as your mother, your maid of honor and especially your groom’s mother.

As for me, I know right now that I can hardly take care of Copernicus — the blonde hamster who lives in my apartment and sleeps virtually all day — nonetheless take care of a man. Perhaps my hesitation over even calling someone a boyfriend at the moment makes me somewhat unfit for this discussion, but my wedding is definitely far out of sight for me.

But when the time comes and I do begin considering my “big day,” I want other people in my life to share the fun.

What’s the point of planning a big beautiful wedding if you’re the only one who fully enjoys it?
If my husband wants a taco bar rather than a steak-dinner reception: Deal. If my sister wants to wear a big pink maid of honor dress, I’m not only going to not put up a fuss, I’ll encourage it.

Those “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Bridezillas” reality show sometimes give off the wrong impression, as if the wedding day is meant to be all about the bride.

Though she never really voiced it, I could tell my mother was itching to help with my brother’s wedding, but knew that because she was mother of the groom, it wasn’t her place to make any decisions. After watching the look on her face as my brother and his then-fiance went over the wedding plans detail by detail, she wanted to be a part of it so badly. After all, with some family issues, she never had a full-out beautiful white wedding herself.

Well mom, you’ve got mine. It’s all yours.

And my Aunt Cindy, the mother of my two male cousins. And our neighbor, who is more like family, Mrs. Dudash, also a mother of two boys.

Planning this day will mean more to you than it ever would to me. All I need is my family, my friends and my prince charming next to me and that day will be perfect.

Roses or lillies? Live band or DJ? In a church or in garden?

Whatever.

It’s all yours, Mama. Make your dream wedding come true.


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