Before I left home for my freshman year of college, my mom persistently tried to put me on birth control and reminded me again and again of all of the resources on campus and to look for free condoms.
Her baby bird was leaving the nest, and she assumed that this baby bird was going to spend a lot of her free time between the sheets of some college boy’s bed. In her mind, the idea of me having sex in college was inevitable, and she wanted to ensure I’d be safe when I did.
But now it’s one year later and her baby bird still hasn’t had sex, nor does she plan to anytime soon.
This isn’t because I’m completely disgusted by the thought of sex — It’s something I’ll want eventually, but for me, sex is something I want to wait for until I know I can trust the person on that level. It’s something that, after all this time, I’d want to be special.
The thing about sex, though, is that it has a different meaning for everyone you ask about it.
For some people, it’s fun and something that can be done casually. For others, sex is something sacred, and for some it’s just a scary thought at this point in their lives. Some people want to wait until marriage, and some people already had sex before they arrived at college in the first place.
Everyone has their own sexcapades to tell. But being a virgin on a college campus seemed absolutely ridiculous to certain family members of mine.
My sister and my friends had their own teasing and occasionally disbelieving comments to make, and people on my dad’s side of the family assumed I’d started going to parties and having sex with a bunch of random guys soon after I arrived at MSU — though this theory of theirs was inspired more by the streak of pink I’d added to my hair, AKA the beginning of my nonexistent “rebellious phase.”
Apparently, being a virgin during one’s college years seemed like an inconceivable concept to them, and it still does to some people. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many people you decide to sleep with.
A person’s worth is not defined by how many or how few people they’ve had sex with.
Having sex with a lot of different partners doesn’t make a person dirty, and there are no special prizes for people who still have their virginity — believe me, I would know by now if there were some sort of prize involved.
Sex is always going to be there as an option. If you want to wait for that special someone or that special moment or until you have walked down the aisle, then that’s okay.
What’s important is that each person respects the other’s decision about when they’re ready. We’re all ready for different things at different paces, and if a person is ready for sex earlier than someone else, that’s great.
It’s going to happen when it happens, but no one should be shamed for which decision they make regarding when they have sex.
Casey Holland is the Opinion Editor at The State News. Reach her at cholland@statenews.com.
