It has been more than two weeks since the video of Ray Rice knocking his fiancée unconscious surfaced across media stations everywhere. The incident brought up the not often discussed, but recurring issue of domestic violence in our society.
According to MSU human studies and development professor and domestic violence expert Amy Bonomi, some would even call it a pandemic.
“Estimates are one to three to one to two women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime,” Bonomi said. “So it is affecting a large amount of the population.”
National data says that the college age demographic of people between 18 and 24 is at the highest risk of being in a domestic abuse situation. Bonomi cites the reason being that college-age individuals are normally trying out new relationships.
“It is often the first time sexual relations are being explored, the first time that they’ve been intimate in a love relationship,” Bonomi said. “It’s very common that we see abuse emerge during this period.”
Some early warning signs of an abusive relationship might include extreme jealousy, name calling, putting someone down emotionally and stalking.
Bonomi said putting your partner down emotionally is something that oftentimes happens in a public setting. It might be done in a way that’s supposed to be humorous.
“Certainly, that type of behavior occurring alone isn’t always an indication of abuse, but when the pattern of behaviors occurs together ... then there are serious concerns,” Bonomi said. “An abusive partner might stop you from talking to friends or family members in an attempt to prevent you from interacting with other people and to isolate you.”
MSU has a few different resources to help stop and prevent domestic abuse including MSU Safe Place and the Counseling Center’s Sexual Assault Program. While it is completely natural to want a friend to get out of an abusive situation, Bonomi suggests supporting the person by trying these programs, or calling 911, first.
“One of the most dangerous times for victims is when they try to leave an abusive situation. In these situations, victims are at risk for death, as well as severe abuse by their partner,” Bonomi said. “In any situation, reassure the friend that you are there for her or him no matter what, even if your friend doesn’t want to talk.”
In regard to the Rice incident, Bonomi refers to the NFL’s handling of the case as “atrocious.”
“The NFL’s reaction is a microcosm of how our society approaches domestic violence overall,” said Bonomi. “It’s swept under the carpet, largely. The victim comes forth with an experience; it gets turned back on them. ‘What did you do to instigate it?’ ‘What was your role of it?’ We have a long way to go as a society.”
