And although they mean to claim importance, it is far better to call them impotent in most of their dealings. When you sit at a stoplight and a driver roars up almost into the intersection, cuts across your lane, and sits there revving his or her engine, you can clearly see the evil glint in his or her eye that screams, “I am ImpOtent!” At least to me it does.

These denizens of the dark side careen about our existences proclaiming their “importance” to the world. Every action they perform revolves around the self-worth they have placed upon said action. Speeding down Mt. Hope Road, racing through crosswalks on campus and ignoring signs that clearly say, “No Turn on Red,” have no place in a me-world. “I am ImpOtent,” and you should believe it. No question there. I do believe it. These characters are not important, but they definitely are ImpOtent.

As the weather took a turn for the worse, the numbers of these fantastic characters increased markedly. The sleeping dogs were awakened by the need to drive more carefully, take fewer chances and develop a sense of concern for those around them. For the impotent, those are not qualities to be adhered to. They are qualities to be ignored and at every instant to be violated. Ignoring something is one thing, but actively trying to cause mayhem at every turn is truly criminal.

But that has no bearing on the ImpOtent, they revel in causing grief to all around them. If you don’t have a good picture of the poster child for this illustrious group, try to catch the numerous Allstate commercials with one of the most captivating ad campaigns to hit the market in years. How can one not think a little more carefully when seeing the effect of Mayhem, or just another name for the ImpOtent, out in the world?

He proclaims his “importance” in causing grief and damage. The victims are wide and varied, but in actuality they are innocents. The real monsters are those people who are not the victims of Mayhem, but the followers of the god called Mayhem.
I actually got up close to one of the minions who follow Mayhem during the power outage on Hagadorn Road recently.

The signal at Hagadorn and Service roads was not operating during the height of lunch hour. Wow! Eleven lanes of traffic trying to get through an intersection, which luckily was not experiencing the snow that would fall a scant few hours later, was quite a sight.

A few hours later and this intersection would be a suicide zone. Drivers and passengers with their hands over their eyes were all cringing as they navigated this minefield of possible fender benders. So where were Mayhem and his followers, the ImpOtent? A little less than a half block from the turmoil and Mayhem-inducing mess was an East Lansing police car, casually sitting with the motor running, watching the unfolding insanity of a lunch crowd being drawn into the insanity of a malfunctioning stop signal. There was no police presence at the stoplight.

There was no effort being made to protect the public. It was simply just another “ImpOtent” individual proclaiming his or her indifference to the dangers caused to others. I did not hear of any severe accidents, so I guess that is one for the good guys and a loss to the “ImpOtent.” Those who survived that intersection from Hell did it without encountering the consequences of Mayhem and his followers.

Roads, hallways, classrooms, intersections and everywhere in between seem to be inhabited by a growing number of the “ImpOtent.” They forage about, trying to not only take what is not theirs but actively enjoy causing havoc for others.

There seems to be no evident solution to this growing behavior, but with a little concerted effort, maybe we could find ways to eliminate this new minority attitude from the landscape.

Craig Gunn is a State News guest columnist. Reach him at gunn@egr.msu.edu.