St. Patrick's Day is more than just a drunken holiday. It has a rich and colorful history full of snakes (we're not zoology majors) and a guy named Patrick. It also includes other famous Irish people we are not too familiar with (we're not history majors - oh wait, Matt is).

To tell you the truth, the only other thing we can tell you about this Irish story is that it happened in Ireland. MSU history Professor J. Morgan Sweeney, whom we attempted to contact, would be the person to ask for that story. Unfortunately, he is currently on a study abroad trip to Ireland and had to decline our interview, so we have nothing for you. But hey, we're the Drinking Buddies, so let's skip the history and go right to the drinking.

One of the most authoritative minds on East Lansing's history of St. Patrick's Day comes from the East Lansing Police Department. Most St. Patrick's Day revelers spend little time talking to cops about their favorite holiday. With so much time committed to public urination, there just aren't enough hours in the day. Yet we have found no one understands you better in your intoxicated state than Deputy Chief Tom Wibert.

"It's always a fun day to work," he said. "A jail on St. Patrick's Day is unique. Everyone there has green hair, green tongues, and, no shoelaces and such."

Wibert, who graduated from MSU in 1988, has been acclimated to the bar scene since places such as Small Planet Food and Spirits and Dooley's Restaurant drew the college-age drinking crowd.

"You know how East Lansing is at 1:30 in the morning? That's how it is at 7 in the morning on St. Patrick's Day," Wibert said. "By 8 in the morning, the bars that are open are at capacity. It stays that way all day long."

Our beat is beer, so we drink the stuff all the time, but the thought of downing a cold one with breakfast raises our eyebrows. A Screwdriver or Bloody Mary is good pre-noon fare if you're a standard alcoholic, but green suds with your French toast? Then again, if they can make Guinness Stout a meal, it was only a matter of time to make a meal for your Guinness.

Crunchy's, 254 W. Grand River Ave., P.T. O'Malley's, 210 Abbott Road, and Harper's Brewpub, 131 Albert Ave., are among the bars offering a scrumptious breakfast to morning partiers, but don't lace up your running shoes just yet, tubby, you're already too late. Crunchy's sold tickets to its buffet and the line at P.T.'s will be huge.

"It's been crazy every year," said P.T.'s assistant manager Dan Gough. "I remember people lining up at 4 in the morning to get in at 7. My guess is we'll have people lining up earlier than 5."

We think P.T.'s is onto something. It will be only a short while before every IHOP will come with a liquor license. Or at least beer pancakes. For now, just stick to making your scrambled eggs and rum at home.

If you're reading this in the morning, you are not only using The State News as a handy sobriety test, you also might be heading to Rick's American Café, 224 Abbott Road, which opens at 10 a.m., or The Peanut Barrel Restaurant, 521 E. Grand River Ave., if it's closer to lunch time. If you look around you also might notice you are not alone.

"We do a pretty good lunch with faculty, staff and some students," said Joe Bell, owner of the Barrel. "Then the drunks filter in."

"So at one table, we'll have some guys working on a business deal and four drunks at the next table."

In other words, don't take that important business meeting to just any old bar on St. Patrick's Day.

There's no arguing that drinking all day is hardcore even for the classiest of lushes. But we uncovered a startling truth about these so-called "partiers." Be warned, it will shock you to your shillelagh.

"There'll be a lull between 3 p.m. and 7 p.m. where people go home and get their second wind," Manager Stephanie Schmidt said of the traffic at Crunchy's. She explained people don't necessarily drink for 19 hours straight. "I've had people come here, have a beer, go to class, have another beer, go back to class," she said.

That's sort of a relief. We can't imagine what 19 hours of drinking can do to a person, but it doesn't seem healthy. Not to mention what that green dye does to your urine, that's just unnatural. So, besides "going to class," where do these deserters head? One possible answer might just be 7-Eleven, located at 311 Grove St.

Former employee Cassie Hunter, a 2004 MSU graduate, is quite familiar with the colorful clientele who frequent the store.

"This group of guys came in and one kept trying to order Red Bull and vodka," she said. "I told them, 'Sorry, you have to go next door (to Harper's).'"

Apparently these young lads were unaware that 7-Eleven does not have a full-service bar.

"Then he proceeded to pass out in the candy aisle and piss his pants," Hunter said. "I think it was 2 in the afternoon."

But that's enough of the partying angle. We know you read our articles for their beer knowledge. As far as drinking Irish beer, you'll have to travel to Claddagh Irish Pub, at Eastwood Towne Center in Lansing Township. Besides the standard Guinness Stout, this pub will offer Killian's Irish Red along with Claddagh Red, a custom beer brewed by Goose Island Beer Co. in Chicago. A recent addition to their taps are Smithwick's Ale and Boddingtons Pub Ale.

Of course, as an Irish-themed bar, The Claddagh will be packed.

"It's the Irish Mardi Gras is what it is," Claddagh General Manager Mike Trapani told us. "It's incredible, we open at 10 o'clock - there'll be no place to sit by 11 o'clock."

If you don't have a designated driver to get to Claddagh (which is about three miles from campus), Guinness and Killian's are not hard to find on tap at most East Lansing bars. Crunchy's will have a special beer - Great Lakes Brewing Company's Conway's Irish Ale. Of course, plenty of you are spilling your mint-green Bud Light onto this paper right now, so you are certainly aware that it is available as well.

Now here's another bit of St. Patrick's Day history we can uncover for you: It wasn't always like this. Until about 10 years ago, the streets of East Lansing were overrun with snakes and the bars were nearly inaccessible. At least that's what we thought until Deputy Chief Wibert clarified the situation for us.

"Back eight or 10 years ago, this was pretty much a regular day," he said. "Then one bar decided that they were going to open at 7 a.m. Once everyone saw the huge lines and the marketing angle, it all changed."

Lucky you, St. Patty's partier.

You've got the lowdown, now go celebrate the craziest day of the year in East Lansing. Remember to pace yourself, or those Irish eyes will be looking at the bottom of a toilet.

Put some whiskey in our jar. E-mail us at drinkingbuddies@beer.com.

• Lunchtime: Hit one of the bars that won't be 21 and up until later in the day. Your choices are: The Claddagh Irish Pub at Eastwood Towne Center in Lansing Township, Harrison Roadhouse, 720 Michigan Ave., or The Peanut Barrel, 521 E. Grand River Ave. Entertain yourself by gawking at the people who are already drunk at noon.

• Afternoon: Pick up a shamrock shake at McDonald's; it only happens once a year. Stop by one of the clothing stores downtown and pick up some green underwear. Spartan green, of course.

• Evening: Stop by the video rental store and pick up one of the Irish-themed films: "The Boondock Saints," "Michael Collins," "Waking Ned Devine," and for all you Sean Connery fans, "Darby O'Gill and the Little People."

• Dinnertime: Make yourself some traditional Irish fare. We've found a recipe for some yummy corned beef and cabbage on www.foodnetwork.com.

Gather:

One 3-pound corned beef brisket (uncooked), in brine (duh)

16 cups of cold water

2 bay leaves

2 teaspoons of black peppercorns

4 whole allspice berries (finally, a use for my allspice berries!)

2 whole cloves

1/2 large head of green cabbage cut into 8 thick wedges

8 small new potatoes halved

Freshly ground black pepper

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Sorry, no microwaving here.

Place the corned beef in a colander in the sink (the thing you use as a toilet in the kitchen) and rinse well under cold running water.

Place the corned beef in a large Dutch oven with a tight fitting lid; add the water, bay leaves, peppercorns, allspice and cloves. Bring to a boil, uncovered, and skim off any scum that rises to the surface. Cover and transfer pan to the oven, and braise until very tender, about 3 hours and 45 minutes.

Transfer the corned beef to a cutting board and cover tightly with foil to keep warm. Add the cabbage and potatoes to the cooking liquid and bring to a boil. Lower the heat and simmer until the vegetables are tender, about 20 minutes.

Using a slotted spoon, transfer the cabbage to a large platter. Slice the corned beef across the grain of the meat into thin slices. Lay the slices over the cabbage and surround it with the potatoes. Ladle some of the hot cooking liquid over the corned beef and season with pepper. Serve immediately with the mustard or horseradish sauce.